Step 1: Sit down on the floor with your legs crossed, or, if that's too painful, on a chair.
Step 2: Close your eyes and try not to think about your toes. It's harder than it sounds, but someone's gotta do it.
Step 3: When your mind inevitably wanders back to your toes, gently but firmly tell it to 'shove off'.
Step 4: Repeat steps 1-3 for at least 10 minutes, or until you've lost all sense of time, or both.
Step 5: When you finally achieve enlightenment, you'll be the proud owner of a mind as clear as a blank page... except for the nagging feeling that you've forgotten something.
Take it to the next level: Advanced Techniques for the Truly Disembodied