TOILET PAPER INDUSTRY RESPONSE PLAN

Phase 1 Review: The Apocalypse Has Not Yet Arrived

Status Update:

We're still here, we're still rolling.

Current Status: 42.5% chance of survival. 42.8% chance of toilet paper shortages.

Next Meeting: Same place, same time, same confused looks on our faces.

Phase 2: The Real Fun Begins
A picture of a toilet paper factory with a 'For Sale' sign on the door