In a shocking turn of events, researchers at the Institute for Advanced Study (IAS) have announced a major breakthrough in quantum entanglement. Using a combination of intricate footwork and avant-garde choreography, they've found a way to send messages to entangled particles.

The IAS team, led by Dr. Reginald P. Bottomsworth, used a custom-built dance studio and a team of expert choreographers to develop the new method. They found that by encoding messages into complex dance moves, they could transmit information to entangled particles with surprising accuracy.

When asked about the implications of this breakthrough, Dr. Bottomsworth said, "We're not just talking about sending 'Hey, Bob, what's for lunch?' to a particle. No, no, no. We're talking about sending Shakespearean sonnets, the complete works of Dickens, or even the entire script of 'Hamlet'. The possibilities are endless!"