Prophet 5 stands at the center of the doomsday cult's inner circle, dispensing wisdom and despair in equal measure. His prophecies are often cryptic, often terrible, and frequently involve fire.
Prophet 5 has a special talent for predicting the exact moment when your favorite snack food will be discontinued. It's a gift, really.
Want to know the fate of humanity? Want to know the meaning of life? Don't look here, just follow the breadcrumbs: Prophet 7 might have some answers, but let's be real, they're probably just going to be worse.