Phase 1: Gather all the cheese
Objective: Acquire a minimum of 1000 blocks of cheddar, 500 wheels of gouda, and 2000 pounds of feta
Sub-phase 1.1: Infiltrate local dairy farms
Sub-phase 1.2: Negotiate with international dairy cartels
Sub-phase 1.3: Steal the cheese, or rather, purchase it at an inflated price point
Link to Phase 2: Phase 2: The Great Cheese Redistribution
Optional Sub-phase 1.4: Develop a plan B, in case cheese is not the answer (just kidding, it is the answer)