A meeting so excruciating, it's a wonder we all didn't spontaneously combust. But we didn't.
It started at 2:00 PM on a Tuesday, in the conference room with the wonky projector. We were all there: Bob, Jane, and Joe.
Bob brought a sandwich. It was a sad, pathetic excuse for a sandwich. The kind that makes you wonder if he'd even tried to eat it before bringing it to the meeting.
Jane brought her notes, which mostly consisted of illegible doodles and the occasional "I'm watching you."
Joe brought his phone, which he used to text "I'm bored" to his wife. Over. And over. And over.
We talked about "synergy" for 45 minutes, but it was really just a bunch of buzzwords and handwaving. It was like they were all trying to hypnotize each other.
The meeting was so dull, I think I might've dozed off for a second. Okay, maybe five.
But then, just when we thought it was all over, the coffee machine in the break room started spitting out lukewarm water. And suddenly, the room was filled with the most electrifying sound: the hum of disappointment.
We all looked at each other, and for a moment, we were all thinking the same thing: "This meeting's not over yet."
And then we all burst out laughing. Because, let's be real, it was just that kind of meeting.
So, the meeting continued. For another 20 minutes.
Minutes from the meeting are available upon request.
Aftermath and reactions are also documented.