The Ancient Art of Topping Balancing

A comprehensive guide to the art of balancing toppings on your pizza, carefully crafted by the world-renowned Pizza Whisperer, Bob.

Warning: excessive topping balancing can lead to:

• Chaos Theory Syndrome: when too many toppings collide, causing a catastrophic topping collapse
• Topping Fatigue: when the weight of excessive toppings causes your pizza to sag like a failed soufflé
• Flavor Overload: when the sheer variety of toppings overwhelms your taste buds, leaving you questioning your life choices

But fear not, dear reader, for Bob has devised the following Topping Balancing Techniques (TBTs):

• The Triangle Method: balancing toppings on a triangular base for maximum structural integrity
• The Spiral of Death: when toppings get out of hand, literally
• The Cascading Effect: where one topping begets another, begets another, begets another...

Don't say we didn't warn you...