Subdefense 1: The Art of Arriving Fashionably Late

Arriving late is an art form, really. It's a delicate balance of skill, strategy, and a hint of desperation.

First, you need to master the ancient art of the "5-Minute Fudge," where you pretend to have a meeting in the next room over, but really you're just stalling for time.

Next, you must perfect the "Power Walk," where you stride purposefully towards the conference room, as if you're about to deliver a eulogy.

And finally, you need to develop a convincing "I'm-so-sorry-I'm-running-late" face, a face that says "I'm-not-really-late-I'm-just-early-for-the-coffee-shop-across-the-street."

But be warned: this is not for the faint of heart. It takes dedication, practice, and a strong constitution.

Subdefense 2: The Art of Leaving Early

Disclaimer: The views expressed on this page are entirely fictional and not intended to be taken seriously. Arriving late is generally not a good idea.