MEETING POLICIES

Meetings. The bane of our existence. Or are they?

Here are some polices to help make our meetings slightly less terrible:

• Arrive on time, or risk being turned into a human chair.
• Do not use your phone. It's not a toy. Unless you're in a meeting about phones.
• Do not eat the donuts. They're for the CEO, who's also the accountant.
• Do not try to be the meeting's resident expert on everything. You're not.
• Do not make eye contact with the CEO. He's not your friend.

Violating these polices will result in:

• Public shaming
• A 30-minute PowerPoint presentation about the meaninglessness of life
• The dreaded "one-on-one" meeting with the CEO
• A mandatory team-building exercise involving trust falls and trusty ropes
• And possibly, just possibly, a meeting about meetings