Disaster-Survival-Guide
For the love of all that is holy, do not try this at home.
In the event of a disaster, follow these simple steps:
- Grab your emergency kit (it has a flashing light, right?)
- Put on your best "I'm a functioning adult" face
- Call your mom, she'll know what to do
- Crawl to high ground, but not too high, you'll strain something
- Find a safe place to huddle, like a designated safe room or a sturdy dumpster
- Wait for the all-clear, or until the apocalypse, whichever comes first
Side effects of following these instructions may include: increased stress, mild hypothermia, and spontaneous combustion (just kidding, or are we).