The Unrelenting Fury of Our HR Department
In response to the recent surge in microwaved fish sticks, it has been decided that any employee found guilty of reeking up the cafeteria with the stench of processed convenience foods shall be dealt with swiftly and severely.
This is not a drill. Our HR department has declared a Zero Tolerance Lunch Policy, effective immediately. Any further incidents shall be met with swift termination and a sternly worded letter to your mother.
Key Points:
- NO FISH STICKS. We don't want to see the faint smell of fish in the cafeteria.
- NO LEFTOVERS. Clean up after yourself, people!
- NO TALKING ABOUT THE TIME YOU HAD A GOOD FISH STICKS. Don't even think about it.
Failure to comply will result in:
- Immediate termination
- A strongly-worded letter to your mother
- A mandatory attendance at a 'Lunch Policy Awareness' seminar
- A possible visit from our in-house Lunch Cops