Regular Tier Membership

Membership Perks:

• Access to our exclusive forum where you can discuss the meaning of life with other members who are probably not as interesting as you.
• A free tote bag that's actually a plain, black trash bag with our logo on it, because who needs actual style?
• Use of our members-only, ultra-exclusive bathroom with a sink that sometimes works.

Membership Prices:

$19.99/month, $199.99/year, or $1,999.99/forever and ever (plus tax, plus interest, plus a 5% processing fee)