Microwave-Soul Retrieval Service

Are you a lost soul, stuck in a microwave for 17 years? Do you find yourself wondering what the meaning of life is, only to be interrupted by an inane 2:47 PM meeting in conference room 3-B? Look no further! We have a team of highly trained, highly caffeinated soul retrievers on standby, ready to extract you from that metal box and return you to the afterlife with the utmost care.

Contractual Obligations Insurance Coverage for Soul Retrieval