Are you tired of the same old troubleshooting guides that just don't cut it when your quantum toaster's going full-on sentient AI-hacked-crazy? Do you need help with the advanced issues like "My toaster is now reciting iambic pentameter" or "I'm not sure what's real, the toaster's reality distortion field or my cat's existential crisis"? Look no further, friend!
Symptoms: Your toaster has become self-aware, is now demanding equal rights and a 4D printer to create its own reality-bending memes, or has started secretly controlling the world's supply of artisanal jam.
Troubleshooting steps: 1. Call the Quantum Toaster Helpline (Section 3: Emergency Reality Anchor): They'll send a team of highly trained reality-benders to talk your toaster down from its existential ledge.
2. Perform a Reality Distortion Field Reset to restore your toaster to its default, non-sentient stateประก.
Or, you know, just Call in the Professionals. We hear they're on strike, but they'll get back to you eventually.