Techniques of the Midweek Miracles
Napcivics
Napcivics is a lost art of manipulating the fabric of reality. It requires a delicate balance of coffee, a pinch of salt, and a dash of desperation.
napcivics = coffee + salt + desperation
Step 1: Brew a strong cup of coffee.
Step 2: Add a pinch of salt.
Step 3: Stare intensely at the wall until the fabric of reality warps and bends.
Step 4: Repeat steps 1-3 until desired results are achieved.
Example use cases:
Causing a nearby object to levitate above the surface of the table.
Teleporting oneself across the room.
Manipulating the weather to create an endless loop of cats in the rain.
Warning: excessive use of napcivics can lead to:
Excessive jitters
Uncontrollable laughter
Unplanned reality distortions