Our team of highly trained, marginally competent event predictors has analyzed the trends and will give you the most accurate, utterly useless predictions in the realm of Neo-Brutalist events.
Current Event Forecast:
Weather: 100% chance of Sudden Onset Awkwardness
Financials: 99.9% chance of unexpected, yet somehow-not-surprising, financial surprises
Social Media: 100% chance of existential dread from algorithmic recommendations
Or, if you're feeling adventurous, try our Fortune Cookie Reader