Neural Nexus: Mind Control Methods

Welcome to the mind control methods of the future! Here, you can learn the art of bending reality to your will.

Method 1: Telepathy by Teleportation

Our patented Teleportation Technology™ allows you to transfer your consciousness into the minds of world leaders, celebrities, or even your in-laws.

Method 2: Mind Reading by Mind Meld

Our advanced Mind Meld technology lets you read thoughts from across the room, or even from across the country. But be warned: it's not as fun as it sounds.

Method 3: Brainwashing by Bureaucracy

Our team of expert bureaucrats will guide you through the intricate process of filling out form 27-B, subsection 4, section 7. It's a real mind-killer.