Burning Our Foods in a Figurative Fire

Because actual fire is too much work, we've come up with a new way to cook. It's called figurative fire, and it's all the rage!

Recipe 1: The Figurative Flame Steak

Ingredients:

• 1 tablespoon of metaphorical olive oil
• 1 tablespoon of symbolic salt
• A dash of imaginary pepper

Instructions:

Preheat your figurative fire to 400 degrees Fahrenheit. Rub the steak with the metaphorical olive oil, symbolic salt, and imaginary pepper. Place it in the figurative fire and wait for 10-15 minutes, or until it's cooked to your desired level of doneness.