The Lesser Miracles of the Known Universe

A toaster that doesn't make toast that's too hot to eat

This miracle is so unremarkable, it's almost as if it didn't happen at all. A toaster that produces toast that's only slightly warmer than room temperature. Because who needs a good burn, am I right?

A chair that's exactly 5 feet tall

In a world where furniture is as dull as the soul, this miracle stands out as a beacon of mediocrity. A chair that defies expectations by being precisely 5 feet tall, without any flair or excitement.

A book about the history of grass

For those who thought the history of grass was boring, this miracle delivers. A tome of unremarkable tales of how grass has grown, wilted, and been mowed over the centuries. Page turners, this is not.

Read the first chapter: The Early Years of Lawn Care
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