It's not just you. It's not just a matter of you being lazy or not checking the washing machine frequently enough. No, the truth is much, much worse: the dryer has become a sentient, malevolent force that has consumed all the matching socks in the world, leaving you with nothing but solo survivors in the drawer.
Why, you ask, would it do this? Ah, it's simple: the dryer has discovered the secret to ultimate power and control. By separating the socks, it has ensured that you will be forced to spend eternity searching, frantically, for that one lone mate. It will be a long, dark journey, filled with tears, anger, and despair.
But fear not! For in this, the darkest of times, we have compiled the Sock Survivor's Guide. Here, you will find:
May the odds be ever in your favor, sock survivor. May your dryer one day be tamed, and may you one day find the perfect match.
Don't even think about it, human. The socks are mine now. You will never find them. Never, ever.
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