We offer the most exclusive, most extravagant, most utterly preposterous services:
- Custom-made, hand-knitted, diamond-encrusted socks
- Caviar-infused, edible gold leafing on our bespoke suits
- Personalized, AI-generated, existential poetry readings
- A complimentary, complimentary, complimentary bottle of champagne (seriously, we mean it)
But wait, there's more! Our clients have access to:
- The Arcadian Express Elevator, which will whisk you up to the top of the Monclerizerizer-arcadia-5000 tower in 30 seconds flat
- The Monclerizerizer-arcadia-5000 Spa, where our team of expertly-trained, robot masseuses will soothe your muscles with the soothing sounds of elevator music
- The Arcadian Arcadia-5000 Library, containing the world's largest collection of moderately-interesting, slightly-outdated, moderately-useless books
Take the Arcadian Express Elevator to the next level
Visit the Monclerizerizer-arcadia-1000, our more... affordable sibling