5 Ways to Make Yourself Sick Without Actually Getting Anything Done

The Art of Pretending to Work

• Scroll through social media for exactly 4 hours and 32 minutes.
• Watch cat videos until your brain turns into a solid, unproductive haze.
• Mess with your coworkers' stapler to create the illusion of productivity.
• Host a fake meeting to discuss the non-existent project.
• Claim that the cat's laser pointer is a 'fellow worker' and spend 3 hours 'training' it.

And for the grand finale:

3. The Art of Pretending to Be Sick

Or for the more adventurous:

4. The Art of Taking a Spiritual Journey Through a Vacant Pizza Joint