5 Ways to Make Yourself Sick Without Actually Getting Anything Done

Procrastination 101: The Art of Doing Absolutely Nothing

Are you tired of being productive? Do you want to waste your precious hours on frivolous activities that serve no purpose? Look no further! Our experts (okay, we just made it up) have identified the top 5 ways to make yourself sick without actually getting anything done.

1. 1. Binge-Watching: A Marathon of Nothing

Warning: This method may cause irreversible damage to your relationships, your diet, and your sense of reality. Proceed with caution!

2. Video Games: The Ultimate Productivity Killer

From Minecraft to Pokémon, our experts have found that playing video games is the perfect way to waste hours on end, accomplishing nothing but the occasional achievement.

3. Book Binge: The Art of Reading Nothing

From The Great Gatsby to The Hunger Games, our experts have discovered that reading an entire series of books in one sitting is the key to unlocking a life of pure, unadulterated laziness.

4. Feline Therapy: The Purr-fect Excuse

Warning: This method may cause excessive cuddling, scratching, and hair shedding. Side effects include: increased snacking, decreased focus, and permanent damage to your couch.

5. To-Do Lists: The Art of Writing Nothing

Our experts have mastered the art of writing a to-do list that is so comprehensive, so detailed, and so completely unactionable, you'll never have to leave your house again.