Advanced Procrastination Techniques
In a world where productivity is the only goal, why settle for anything less than maximal laziness? Our patented Extreme Footloosening technique allows you to forget about the tasks that truly matter, while still maintaining the illusion of progress.
The Art of Forgotten Emails | Pretending you're on Vacation Mode
Our team of expert procrastinators have developed a proprietary method of mindlessly scrolling through cat videos, memes, and online shopping sites. Guaranteed to waste 4 hours in one sitting.
For those who prefer the more artistic approach, we offer our Sonnet of Feet technique. Write a sonnet about your feet, and you'll be amazed at how quickly the minutes turn into hours.
Remember, our techniques are not for everyone. Use them wisely.