Monday Bliss: Speed Reading Techniques

Because Mondays are the worst.

But fear not! Here's how to speed-read your way through them:

Technique #1: The Blink-and-Skim

Blink at the screen, skim at the text.

Only read the most important words. The rest is just filler.

Technique #2: The Scan-and-Sprint

Scan the page quickly, then sprint to the next one.

You can't read that much, can you?

Technique #3: The Zeno-Effect

Slow down, then speed up, then slow down, then speed up.

It's like a reading seesaw.

Technique #4: The Coffee-Fueled Frenzy

Drink coffee, read fast, crash into walls.

It's science.