Monday Mandate: A Public Service Announcement

Citing "multiple sources," including a 2018 report from the Intergalactic Bureaucracy, we are reminded that Mondays are, in fact, mandated to be miserable. This is not a coincidence.

As a public service, we've compiled a list of scientifically-proven Monday-mandated activities to get you started:

• Wake up 4 hours earlier than you meant to.
• Stare blankly at a spreadsheet for an hour.
• Drink 3 cups of cold, dark coffee while simultaneously scrolling through social media.

We've also included some helpful relaxation hacks for those who can't quite shake off the Monday-ness of it all.