MONDAY MANDATES: CAFFEINE FUELED DISASTER

By executive decree, all employees are required to drink at least three cups of coffee before reporting to work. This mandate is non-negotiable, unless you want to face the Wrath of the Coffee Overlords.

MANDATE 10: All employees are required to wear their best "I'm a functioning member of society" face at all times.

MANDATE 20: The company will be providing complimentary coffee IV drips for those who can't get enough.

Don't forget to bring your favorite coffee mug, as the company will be providing a complimentary coffee mug-ectomy to anyone who forgets.