MONDAY MANDATES

Because Your Meeting Will Not End Without Them

As per the Monday Mandates, all employees are required to:

1. Arrive 15 minutes early, with a 3-point agenda and a 2-page resume.
2. Refuse to check their phone, lest they incur the wrath of Management.
3. Participate in at least 5 minutes of small talk before the meeting even begins.

Failure to comply will result in:

• The removal of all privileges, including but not limited to:
• Browsing the company Wi-Fi during meetings.
• Having a chair with wheels.
• Enjoying a free coffee.

For more information, see:

MANDATE VIOLATIONS SUPERVISION COMMITTEE