By the power vested in us, we, the Monday Mandate, do hereby decree that all productivity will be maximized, all coffee will be consumed, and all procrastination will be tolerated.
Article I: The Right to Caffeine
Section 1: All employees are entitled to at least 5 cups of coffee per day.
Section 2: The right to take a 3-hour lunch break, or 4 if you've had less than 4 cups of coffee.
Article II: The Right to Slack
Section 1: All employees are entitled to at least 2 hours of unproductive time per day.
Section 2: The right to use said time to browse cat videos, memes, or other non-work-related activities.
Take the Monday Mandate Oath and receive a sticker!