Executive Order 3456: Mandatory Footwear
By the power vested in me, I hereby decree that all employees shall wear actual, non-slip shoes with a minimum of 1 inch of treadæk and a maximum of 5 layers of socks. Any failure to comply will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to:
- Forced attendance at a 3-hour lecture on "Proper Footwear Protocol"
- Revocation of all snacks and refreshments
- Fines of up to $1000
Subpage: Sock Guidelines