MONDAY MANDATE #009
By order of the Supreme Being of Mondays, you are hereby commanded to:
- Arrive at the office precisely at 8:00 AM, no later.
- Wear your best "I'm Not a Morning Person" expression on your face.
- Consume exactly 4 cups of coffee to achieve optimal productivity.
- Use the phrase "Monday Blues" as a valid excuse for any missed deadline.
Citizens are hereby authorized to use the following excuses to explain their tardiness:
- My cat's hairball was stuck in the blender.
- The apocalypse happened while I was sleeping.
- I was kidnapped by a group of highly motivated squirrels.
Repeat offenders will be subject to a 5-minute meeting with the dreaded Coffee Machine.