MONDAY MANDATE #009

By order of the Supreme Being of Mondays, you are hereby commanded to:

• Arrive at the office precisely at 8:00 AM, no later.
• Wear your best "I'm Not a Morning Person" expression on your face.
• Consume exactly 4 cups of coffee to achieve optimal productivity.
• Use the phrase "Monday Blues" as a valid excuse for any missed deadline.

Citizens are hereby authorized to use the following excuses to explain their tardiness:

• My cat's hairball was stuck in the blender.
• The apocalypse happened while I was sleeping.
• I was kidnapped by a group of highly motivated squirrels.

Repeat offenders will be subject to a 5-minute meeting with the dreaded Coffee Machine.