Monday Mandate 2: Clarifications

By order of the Supreme Overlord of Mondays, all employees are required to arrive at work exactly 5 minutes earlier than they did the previous week. This is non-negotiable.

Clarifications:

1. Yes, this includes coffee breaks.
2. No, you may not use your personal time-traveling device to get to work early.
3. Exceptions will be made for employees who have been awake for less than 5 hours.

Failure to comply will result in a 3-day suspension of all privileges, including but not limited to: using the copier, using the microwave, and using the stapler.

For further clarification, refer to Monday Mandate 1: The Original

Or, if you're feeling extra curious, check out our Monday Mandates: Addendums for more information on the intricacies of Monday morning protocol.