As of this moment, all employees are mandated to exhibit at least three of the following mood swings: Angst, Anxiety, and Despair.
These mandatory mood swings shall last for precisely 37.5 minutes, or until the end of the first meeting.
During this time, employees are expected to display a minimum of 5 of the following symptoms:
- Excessive eye-rolling
- Increased caffeine intake
- Uncontrollable sighs
- Uncoordinated flailing
- Spontaneous outbursts of "Why, Monday?"
A penalty box will be placed outside the break room for any employee who fails to meet these requirements.
View Mandate #4 Appendix