Monday Mandates 2021 - Section 1: Mandatory Monday Morning Motivations
By order of the Supreme Monday Overlords, you are commanded to:
- Wake up at least 2 hours before actual sunrise.
- Consume 500 calories worth of coffee.
- Check your emails, but do not respond to any.
- Stare blankly at a wall for 30 minutes to re-energize.
Failure to comply will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to:
- Lunchtime disappointment.
- Unrelenting boredom.
- Spontaneous combustion of your morning routine.