Monkey Manners 101: Lesson 1 - Using Your Own Hand When Using The Loo

Good morrow, young monkey! Today, we're going to cover the basics of using your own hand when using the loo. Yes, you heard that right. It's a delicate topic, but someone's got to do it.

Why should you use your own hand? Well, prophets of old once said, "Cleanliness is next to monkey-ness." It's a wise adage, indeed.

Now, let's get down to business. When using the loo, make sure to:

1. Wash those hands with soap and water. Not just your feet. Although, that's a good idea too.
2. Use a towel, not your fur. It's just not hygienic.
3. Don't make monkey noises. They're not exactly soothing.

And that's it for today's lesson. You've got the basics down, young one. Practice your newfound skills and you'll be a monkey etiquette master in no time! Next lesson: Table Manners for Monkeys or Making Eyelash Contact with Strangers

Additional Monkey Manners Tips:

• Always wear a bib when eating. It's just good sense.

• Never lick your own face. It's not a good look.

• Don't play with the toilet paper. It's not a toy.

• Use a comb, not a rock, to style your fur.

Download our Monkey Manners Cheat Sheet for more tips!