A Moon Facts Page of Unrelenting Sadness
You've come to this page because you wanted to know more about the Moon.
But now that you're here, you'll never leave. The Moon's gravitational pull is too strong.
It's not just a rock, it's a prison. A prison of despair, of hopelessness, of crushing ennui.
Did you know that the Moon is actually a giant, airless tomb, devoid of oxygen and filled with the screams of the damned?
Or that it's actually a giant, glowing orb of pure, unadulterated despair?
You're stuck here, reading this, and there's no escape.
You've lost everything: your family, your friends, your cat.
All that's left is the crushing, soul-crushing weight of the Moon's presence, hovering above you, judging you, mocking you.
And for what? So you can read about the Moon's boring facts and figures?
No, no, no. You'll never leave.
This is the end.