Welcome to Ancient Egypt, where the air is thick with sarcasm and the pyramids are a real pain in the butt.
As a time traveler, you've arrived just in time to experience the thrill of the Great Sphinx's existential crisis.
But don't worry, it's not all bad news! You can visit our Pharaoh's Philosophy page to learn about the finer points of ancient Egyptian logic.
Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, you can try your hand at Building the Ark of the Covenant - just don't blame us if it all goes wrong.
But remember, in Ancient Egypt, the only thing that's more ancient than the pyramids is the tourists.
Tourist Traps of the Nile: Because who needs history when you can have overpriced souvenirs and bad camel food?