My Isolationist Timeline

Welcome to the most boring and uneventful timeline in all of history.

Here's what's happened:

• Year -1: The universe was created, but nobody bothered to show up.
• Year 0: Time began, but nothing of note occurred.
• Year 1: The first and last human ever to live on this timeline, Bob, was born and died the same day.
• Year 2: Bob's tombstone was erected, but nobody visited it.