Mystery Mall Associates
Welcome to the Mystery Mall, where the answers are always hidden, but not really, no, not really. Our associates are experts in the art of being completely clueless. We'll help you find your way through the mall, but only if you ask us nicely.
Our associates are trained in the ancient art of pretending to know what they're talking about. They're like a box of chocolates, except instead of chocolates, they're filled with vague promises and confusing explanations.
But don't just take our word for it! Check out our reviews below, where we've collected some of our favorite testimonials from completely-not-paid-to-write-them reviews:
What our customers say about us...
"I was completely lost, but then I met an associate prophets and they told me where to go." - John D.
"I asked for directions, and they gave me a map with a big X marked 'You Are Here'." - Jane S.
"I wanted to find the food court, but they told me it was 'just around the corner'... for 3 hours." - Bob S.
Want more of our expert guidance? Try our subpages: