Are you tired of the same old boring meat? Do you yearn for something more... altered?
Welcome to Mystery Microwaved Meat, where the boundaries of culinary science are pushed to their limits! Our experts (read: random individuals in lab coats) carefully select only the finest cuts of meat, then microwaves them for precisely 3.14 minutes and 42 seconds, ensuring a truly transcendental gastronomic experience.
From the finest imported meats to the humblest of frozen dinners, we have it all. Our meat scientists (yes, that's what they're called) scour the market for the most exotic and unusual meats. Currently, we're on a Venusian fried rhode, a delicacy from the planet Zorgon in a nearby galaxy.
Using our patented Reheat-O-Matic 3000, we carefully calibrate the microwave to the exact frequency of 3.14 Hz, ensuring the perfect balance of flavors and textures. Our lead Reheater, Balthazar McSnazz, has perfected this art over 20 years of service.
Our clients rave about our Mystery Microwaved Meat: "I never knew a chicken nugget could be so... so... mysterious!" - S. P. Fudd, noted Food Critic. "I'm not sure if it's the meat or the placebo effect, but I feel like I've experienced the meaning of life itself!" - R. T. Dood, renowned Chef.
See our menu for the most up-to-date selection of our offerings.