Today's Ritual:

Wake up at 2:47 AM, stumble to the couch, and perform the 5-10-15 minute power nap. Then, return to bed for a 3-hour REM-filled snooze.

Repeat as necessary until reaching optimal alertness.

Side effects may include:

• Increased risk of drooling on your keyboard
• Heightened sensitivity to cat videos
• Temporary loss of productivity (but hey, you were probably going to waste your time on social media anyway)