Napping with a Cat: The Definitive Guide

Napping with a cat is a delicate art form that requires finesse, patience, and a willingness to be judged for your life choices.

Step 1: Choose a suitable napping location. Ensure the spot is free from distractions, such as pesky dogs, chattering birds, or inquisitive siblings.

Step 2: Select a suitable napping position. Options include, but are not limited to:

• Lotus pose: A delicate balance of limbs and body, requiring a keen sense of spatial awareness.
• Cat-cradle pose: A precarious balancing act, where the cat's paws are the only thing holding you aloft.
• Sphinx pose: A regal stance, where one leg is tucked beneath the other, exuding confidence and feline superiority.

Step 3: Engage the cat in napping activities. This may include, but is not limited to:

• Massaging the cat's ears
• Stroking the cat's back
• Gazing deeply into the cat's eyes

Step 4: Maintain napping position for an extended period. The ideal duration is directly proportional to the number of cats involved.

Disclaimer: Napping with a cat can be hazardous to one's health. Prolonged exposure to excessive cuteness may result in permanent damage to one's heart, soul, and/or liver.

For more in-depth napping statistics and expert analysis.

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