Welcome, dear patient, to Nausea Therapy, where the cure for all that ails you is actually the cause of all your problems.
Here, our team of highly trained, highly paid, and highly nauseous therapists will help you find new and innovative ways to make yourself sick, and then we'll charge you an arm and a leg for the privilege.
Our state-of-the-art facility is equipped with the latest in nausea-inducing technology, including:
- Disorienting spin cycles
- Stomach-churning video games
- Ear-piercingly shrill sound effects
Don't just take our word for it, though: our patients have reported feeling:
- Queasy
- Nauseous
- Bloated
And, as an added bonus, our therapy sessions come with a free side of:
- Unending despair
- Existential dread
- The certainty that the apocalypse is just around the corner