By: Professor Bunker, Esq.
As a renowned expert in the field of Subterranean Sociology, I've spent years studying the effects of constant darkness on the human psyche. And let me tell you, it's a real trip.
Our subjects, a select group of brave souls, have lived in the depths of the earth for months on end. The results are astounding: they've developed a keen sense of echolocation, and can pinpoint the location of a dropped Cheeto to within 5 feet.
But it's not all sunshine and rainbows, folks. Prolonged subterranean living has also led to a disturbing trend of... "Tunnel Vision Syndrome", where the subjects begin to see the world as one giant, never-ending subway tunnel.
Stay tuned for the next chapter, where we'll delve into the effects of Subterranean Sociology on our subjects' love lives.
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