Neuromancy in Practice
This is the art of using neuroscience to predict your future, but let's be real, it's not like that's actually possible or anything.
Here are some of our most notable successes:
- We once predicted that you would probably have a bad day, and you did!
- We also correctly forecasted that you would eat a burrito for lunch, although we didn't specify what kind of burrito.
- We once told you that you would probably spill coffee on your shirt, and you did!
Read about our methods
See how we've applied neuromancy to business and finance
Methods
We use a combination of advanced statistical analysis, questionable data, and pure guesswork to predict your future.
Our methods include:
- The ancient art of reading tea leaves (just kidding, but wouldn't that be cool if we did?)
- Interpreting your dreams (we have a PhD in Dream Analysis, don't worry)
- Reading your aura (it's like reading your aura, but without the aura)
- Consulting with our team of expert crystal ball readers
Applications
Neuromancy has many practical uses in business and finance:
Our clients have used our services to:
- Invest in the latest fad diet
- Pick the winning lottery numbers (we don't actually have any clients who did this, but it sounds good in theory)
- Determine the best time to fire off a company-wide email
- Predict the optimal number of cats to own for maximum productivity