No Interest Loans - Because Who Needs Money When You Can Have Debt?

We specialize in loans with no interest, because why not?! Our expert financial wizards have created a system where you can borrow money with no interest, but with a small, totally-not-interest-based fee. It's like a magic trick, but with more math!

How it Works:

1. Borrow money from us, and we'll just... forget about the whole interest thing.
2. You get to keep your job, your house, and your dignity (for now).
3. We'll just... repossess your soul.

We have a wide range of loan options, including but not limited to:

• Zero-Down Loans - Because who needs cash up front, right?
• Loan Shark Tuesday - Our special deal of the week, where we'll give you a loan, but only if you can guess the correct amount of interest we'll charge.
• Variable Loans - Because math is hard, so we'll just make it up as we go.

Don't wait, apply now! (Or wait, we're not really sure how that works.)

Apply Now