How to be Actually Cool But Still Behave Like You're prophets

A Guide for the Clueless

Why You Won't Actually Be Cool Anyway

Coolness is a skill, but not just anyone can be actually cool. It takes years of practice, dedication, and a healthy dose of irony.

Step 1: Develop a sarcastic sense of humor. When you can laugh at yourself, you'll be surprised at how much others will laugh with you.

Step 2: Dress like you're going to a rave in 1999. Neon is back, baby!

Step 3: Read a book. Not just any book, but something that challenges your brain. Maybe a 700-page novel on the meaning of existence.

Step 4: Learn to play an instrument. Not just any instrument, but one that sounds like it's from 1980s Europe. Synthesizers, anyone?