Paradoxical Derivations

Axioms of Self-Contradiction

The fundamental principles of logic, hilariously subverted.

Law of Non-Excluded Inclusion: If it's not excluded, it's included. Unless it's not.
Principle of Inconsistent Inference: If A implies B, and B implies C, then A might imply D, but only if D is a lie.
Principle of Self-Contradiction: This statement is false, but only if it's true.

For more on the absurd, visit our Contradictory Logic subpage.

Stuck in an endless loop of reason and madness.

The Liar's Paradox: "This sentence is false" is a true statement, but only if it's not.
The Barber Paradox: A barber who says "I shave those who don't shave themselves" is a barber, but only if he doesn't shave himself.
The Grandfather Paradox: If you go back in time and kill your grandfather, you'll never have been born, but you will, because you're already dead.

For more on the mind-bending, visit our Timely Contradictions subpage.