Obtuse Testimonials

I once knew a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy... who could eat 37 hot dogs in one sitting.

— Anonymous

I'm not saying I'm a good cook, but I once made a cake that was so bad, it made the neighbors' cat cry.

— Bob "The Baker" Johnson

I've seen some weird stuff in my time, but nothing's stranger than my aunt Mildred's mustache.

— Bubba J. Snodgrass