Warning: Fire in the Building
Please do not attempt to use the fire extinguishers. They have been replaced with whoopee cushions for "team-building exercises."
According to our highly-paid consultants, the office fire safety policy is as follows:
- In case of a fire, please evacuate the premises through the "Emergency Exit Tunnel of Confusion."
- Once outside, please report to the "Fire Safety Hotline" where you will be given a series of increasingly absurd tasks to complete before being allowed back into the building.
- Tasks include but are not limited to: reciting the alphabet backwards, solving for x, and doing the chicken dance.
For a list of all the office fires we've had in the past year, please visit Year in Review.